1. Food Etiquette
Have you ever seen a picture of a little squirrel stockpiling acorns for the winter? This scene is your inspiration for handling nibbles at a Christmas party. Never let a tray pass you by without plucking something from it and feel free to pursue the waiter if he misses you. As for chewing, make black holes your muse and try to inhale edibles quickly and infinitely.
2. Dancing Etiquette
No one wants to be that guy or girl who cops flack on Monday morning for dirty dancing at the Christmas party. This is a unique opportunity for you to boost your office persona as well as save colleagues from humiliation. Scan the dance floor for a colleague that’s getting a little too low or toying with the idea of twerking and nip their dirty dancing in the bud with a ‘clean-up conga’. Invite them to hop on first and within moments, everyone will be snaking around the room in a good, wholesome clean-up conga line. Not a dirty move or hurtful party recap in sight!
3. Drinks Etiquette
The ‘tab’ or ‘drinks package’ is always a hot topic of conversation in the lead-up to a work Christmas party – this is because the tab usually runs out before people want it to. What you should do is pick up a couple cases of a popular beverage and stash them somewhere near the party. When the tab inevitably runs its course, set up shop with your back-up booze. If you’re in it for the money, charge your colleagues triple what it cost you. If you’re in it for the glory, charge them double. Cha-ching!
4. Fashion Etiquette
Obviously, if the host has mandated a theme, go with that. But if it’s a fashion free-for-all, your best bet is to wear something that passes for a good party outfit just as well as it passes for a waiter’s uniform. All kinds of things pop up at Christmas parties – staff shortages, technical difficulties, etc. You never know when you’ll need to masquerade as staff to save the day or keep the party going smoothly. It’s just good business.
5. Follow-Up Etiquette
On Monday morning, there’s going to be a lot of Christmas party talk going on. Some people will focus on the negative (‘Did you see his cuffed pants?’) and others will enjoy reminiscing about the positives (‘All the twinkling lights made me feel like I was in Rome.’). What you should focus on is the food. But don’t just stop at saying it was ‘delicious’ or even ‘exquisite.’ Every time the Christmas party comes up, launch into your nibble appreciation with startling detail. This sample praise should get you started: “When I sunk my teeth into the Thai chicken croquettes, I was transported to the streets of Bangkok – the bite of the chilli, the mystery of the cumin, the lingering coriander… together they became the bustle of Asia’s Sin City.”